I started writing a post today about the first step to approaching a new idea, but then this popped up on my youtube algorithm and it gave me such a rush of goosebumps, I simply HAD to make this the post today.
Let’s begin. Please review this clip:
https://youtu.be/iENR1PSVLSk
Alright so let’s talk about this scene. I found a copy of the script searching in google, and I’m going to snip a few things in and talk about them.
Now in the writing toolbox, there are a few things that are necessary for [almost every] scene to be, well, a scene. And not just any kind of scene; An Effective Scene.
Think of a scene like a mini-movie. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s gotta be stakes, a character moment progressing either closer to his goal or farther away and a sense of urgency in which the plot moves along. Maybe there’s jokes. Maybe’s there’s sadness. There should be some sort of emotional roller coaster in each and every scene, whether it’s just two people in a room talking or whether you’re on a motorcycle, trying to escape dinosaurs.
And by the way? That roller coaster could be the teacups or whatever the hell this thing is:
The stakes are stated right at the start of Steve Rogers’s pathetic exercises. He’s the “clear choice.” Dr. Erskine needs Steve Rogers to be picked for the program, so that’s his goal and Colonel Phillips doesn’t want that and that’s his. Two characters want two different things. Good start.
The dialogue is off the nose, specific to the situation, but not so simply written where it’s “I want Rogers.” “I don’t.” “Well, now I’m hurting in my heart. You should ‘ve seen him earlier.” “Well I didn’t, please recap it for me.” “Okay, so here’s what I see in Steve–“
Even if you don’t technically know what I’m talking about, you’ve seen it happen. It’s the way Peter Petrelli in Heroes CONSTANTLY says “Don’t you see, we’re all connected” all throughout season 1. STOP IT. STOP WRITING THAT WAY, NIC.
Sorry. Anyway–
That don’t happen. Not in this pic. Also, kudos to Tommy Lee Jones (my Dad) who does some great ad-libbing which only furthers reveal our character as a no non-sense Colonel.
The stakes are raised when we see that Hodge kicks ass at this and probably would be a great soldier to send into the super-soldier program. Bonus points for having an extremely punchable face. Uh-oh. Antagonist maybe?
Not to go too far outside the scene, but there’s a ticking clock as well to get this program off and running with the war that’s going on. So we’ve got an excellent setup for our beginning.
Now how about our middle?
Ah yes. A classic oh $#!+ moment.
The colonel is ready to get his point across to prove once and for all that Steve is a waste of space. He’s going to throw a grenade and prove to Erskine what a great soldier Mr. Punchable face is. We’re upping the stakes too, showcasing that we want this war over so damn bad, our Colonel is willing to potentially hurt some recruits to do it.
Now let’s hit the end:
We don’t see Hodge jumping behind the jeep in the final cut, but we do get him overlooking the hood. It’s good to have it in there, whether or not you use the cut. We do eventually get him popping out though.
There’s a nice little payoff from everyone here, feeling different than they did at the start. The Colonel is disappointed, Hodge is disappointed in himself, Peggy feels something for this brave boy, Steve has a lack of clarity in the purpose of the training whereas at the start, he assumed it was just training and Erskine gets to feel justified in seeing something in Rogers no one else did that now, EVERYBODY ALSO SEES.
I love it. I freaking LOVE this scene. One thing I try to do is think of moments in my writings that would end up in the trailer.
This is a scene so freaking good, THEY PUT IT IN THE DAMN TRAILER.
Take a bunch of those scenes, put them together, and just like that, we had a great intro to Captain America.
Have a terrific day!
~Nic
